'He said, she said': How can you ensure a successful mediation during the divorce process?
Why mediation?
Mediation can be helpful for many couples in resolving their issues without needing to go to court, and can therefore be a good alternative to a potentially lengthy and costly court process.
Family Law protocol now requires couples to first engage in the mediation process before they can enter into the court arena. There are some exceptions to this rule such as in cases of domestic violence.
During mediation, a trained mediator will meet with you and your ex-partner to discuss any issues you cannot agree on and try and reach a resolution. Once you have agreed on areas such as finances and arrangements for any children, the mediator will summarise these in a document for you to discuss with your legal advisor.
How to get the most out of mediation
The mediation process works best when a number of criteria are met. For example, if you and your ex-partner have come to a mutual agreement that the marriage or civil partnership is at an end, you are both more likely to benefit from the mediation process than if one party is hoping there might be a chance of reconciliation. You might be hoping for an amicable resolution to your differences, particularly where children are involved, which can be a powerful motivating factor in making the mediation process work.
Mediation might not be easy if there is a high degree of animosity involved in the separation, or where one party feels the other is to blame for the breakdown of the relationship; however it is still possible to have a successful mediation process. You might want to consider meeting with the mediator separately if you feel being in the same room as your ex-partner would be too difficult.
When shouldn't mediation be used in a divorce?
Sometimes, mediation is not suitable for separating couples. For example, if domestic abuse or violence has been present in the relationship; if one party feels intimidated by or frightened of their ex-partner or where there are safeguarding concerns about any children. Mediation may not be the best option in cases where there is drug or alcohol abuse.
If you feel you are not able to trust your ex-partner to be honest regarding property or other assets; for example if you suspect they have hidden or might hide details of their financial situation, then mediation might not be right for you.
Where possible, mediation can be a very useful aid during the process of separation, but you will also need to take legal advice to ensure your interests are protected.
